This is freaking me out, the store clerk back at Italy, the one who
caught me stealing one pack of cigarettes.. has taken me, the great Arctic
Avenger, hostage.
He caught me whlist jumping off the bridge in Italy.. then he took
me into his private chopper and flew me back to his HQ in the Bronx..
There was truly a long road ahead
Yes you read that right. Me, the great Arctic Avenger taken hostage..
Just for one pack of cigarettes! Here he is sitting behind me with an AK-47
and forcing me to stand for hours on end. Yes me, the great Arcti (SHUT
UP -Ed.)..ok ok it seems I'm repeating myself. I apologize.. I haven't
had anything to eat except for bugs and these happy umbrella shaped vegetables
of love. I'm forced to watch re-runs of Murphy Brown and he said for me
to not move an inch, or he'll shoot. I got to admit though, Murphy Brown
is kind of.. hot!
Oh, Roger and Peter were also there, stand motionless.. they didn't
even laugh when Murphy Brown spilled coffee on her skirt. Weird, weird
people. Look at their eyes.. creepy..very very creepy..
How am I writing this issue you ask. Well, a few days ago back at CS-Nation
HQ, secretly at night I woke up, got out of bed, went to the other side
of the bed where RzE was sleeping and palmed his.. Palm Pilot V! I don't
think he's noticed I've taken it yet! (You stupid asshole, you better give
it back or I'm kicking your pansy parka wearing ass -Ed.) Ha! Luckily it's
running Windows MCE 2000 version, it seems this OS will never crash, has
a 2 second boot time and will make you apple pie. It has everything on
here, a 14.4 modem connecting to an OC-768 connection, Adobe Photoshop
and loads, and I mean loads, of hard core.. porn. It also has a digital
camera so I can make my own old fashioned pornography!
Finally at 3 AM the Terrorist finally told me to go to sleep, and he
led me down into the basement, where the beds lay.. I slept soundly while
he guarded me with that AK.. It was all good, except I couldn't play with
mys-.. err, play Counter-Strike.
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